Saturday, December 26, 2009

Standing on the Edge...

Christmas has just finished.
If I have not wished any of you...


The days leading up to this year's Christmas spelled much pain in the process of growing up.
Christmas just kinda reminded me that it really isn't about me...but it's about Christ.
I guess the human tendency is to look at the circumstances and be overwhelmed.
It is definitely time to get the focus back.

Prayers have been answered though.
Through the gifts, God really knew how and when to bless.
He's really amazing.

Though life has been really dark recently, but God keeps me going.
It just feels so pathetic to have to be constantly reminded, but this is my weakness.
Lets hope over time, I improve myself in this aspect.

On another note...

This week is the last week of the internship.
January, a new chapter of life begins when I head back to college.
Can't say that I'm looking forward to it now either.
Life has been so incredibly turbulent over the couple of years, and there are times when I wonder if I'll ever be able to just have a stretch of good days without a nasty one.

But...if there's anything I know, it is part of the character building process.
Broken hearts, tears, pain, torture, and the ultimate destination of depression always knocks on the door of my life.
Then draws me back to God through the pain.

There will definitely be a year end post.
Just wondering how to celebrate New Year's eve this year.
Definitely considering catching the fireworks from somewhere not crowded...

Well, another post on updates should be up soon with the pictures.
But till then, gonna try and refrain from posting up too many posts.
Negativity isn't good for the soul. : )

I'm not okay.
So don't ask if you know already because you'll always get this answer...

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'll be fine."

And no...
Don't tell me that "everything will be fine" cause at the will never seem that way.
There are other ways of being there, and too many times have I been disappointed by the phrase "Don't worry. Everything's gonna be alright."
Not when you knew at that very moment that it wasn't...

Philippians 3:12 - Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

Philippians 3:13 - Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead.

Philippians 3:14 - I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called heavenward in Christ Jesus.

PS: Christmas message today concluded with this verse...
Jeremiah 31:3 - The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness."
Thank God for His unfailing love.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Another Heartbreak, Another Chance to Grow...

Another turning point in life.
And oh how I remembered telling myself that I never wanna experience this again.
But life is full of risks, and when I gave it my all I opened myself to that same pain and once again here I am.

I must say, it feels far more magnified than previous heartaches.
Just another chapter in life?
Closure...but I'll let time take its toll.

I never saw this coming.
Actually, no.

Priorities have been reshuffled.
No reason to open up again.
But reason to trust God that all things will fall into place.

4 hours of sleep will have to get me through today.
And it's Christmas eve today, the irony.
Yet, I still know my reason for the season.
As much as this has been the most painful Christmas eve, I know Christmas will be the turning point.

I've had enough heartbreaks to last me a lifetime.
Love can be so painful, but yet we were made to love.
Only God's perfect love can be of any standard to depend on.

But for now, it's just God and me on this road.
When everything else fails, God remains faithful.
Wake up call, but He will keep me going.
Thank You Lord for teaching me lessons through heartbreaks.

Time to pick up the pieces.
God knows how long I'll take scouring around for the tiny fragments that have been scattered.
But one thing I do know...I've got a God who is bigger than any circumstances.
Life may be a roller-coaster, but He's the operator and He's in-charge.

This Christmas will definitely be interesting.

Love is overrated.
God is underrated.

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the change to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Drops of Jupiter - Train

~ As the night peaked at its darkest, the light shone the brightest.

Monday, December 21, 2009

A million pieces...

Ever wanted to go far away and start afresh?
To a distant place where you know nobody, and nobody knows you.
When a clean slate is given, and everything else is forgotten.
Breathtaking scenery, fresh mountain air, and a starry night sky to greet you?

I know I do.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

All I want for you.

I just realized the last post was on the 1st of December.

Yesh, I know.
Working has made me a sloth.
I also blame it on my life which has become rather un-happening.
Hence, I need to keep my blog active somehow.

I promise, a proper blog post will be updated soon.
I keep saying that, but I am gonna ensure it happens soon kay?
Don't give up on me just yet.

Christmas is approaching and I thank God every year that I celebrate it knowing that it was the most historic moment in time, that defining moment that changed the course of mankind from eternal damnation, into a purposeful life and an eternal destiny in heaven.

However, just as I do every year...I thought of putting up a Christmas wish list.
But...this year I realize it is the simple things in life that truly make me happy (not to mention more realistic too).
So, here we go...

1. A blackberry storm!

Been wanting one of these for quite a while.
Reason: I've been using my phone for 5-6 years now, and I have this liking for the blackberry series. Not a necessity though. Learning to be contented with what I have.

2. An iPod.

Doesn't quite matter which, as long as it functions as a music player.
Reason: Using the phone as a temporary music player doesn't work, not when it eats up so much of the battery.

3. A new pair of futsal shoes.

Doesn't matter which either, as long as it's nice. *grins*
Reason: Obviously I need a new pair since my current ones are well...have been used rather too much.

4. A nice organizer.
Reason: It's time to be disciplined and get my daily life into order. More for time management purposes, and I believe that this is one of those changes that I'm making. My imperfection; work-in-progress.

5. A bag that would fit both the working & studying world.
Reason: Just cause I need to look professional. : )

Only 5 on my wish list.
Last year I had 10, but again they were pretty much unrealistic.
Lets just say I cherish the simple things in life and it is indeed the little things that make me happy.
Materialistic isn't really in my dictionary (though it seems that way a lil).

I believe heavenly treasures are what matters most.
There's the other wishes such as salvation of loved ones and friends, that scholarship that I'm still praying for, and some other things.
Those will stay between God and me.

And yet all I want for Christmas is you...

Things have been tough.
Life has sorta had a huge blip, and took me for a roller-coaster ride.
God has been faithful, and I can safely say with assurance the worse is over.
When everything else seems hopeless, God is hope.
And there is absolutely nobody who guarantees just that except Him, and I can safely say that I'm becoming better and I am absolutely confident in whom I put my trust and faith; the One who holds my future.

Till the next post, I bid you au revoir.
Here's to a good week ahead!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

According to you...


Life's been mundane at times, but I'm slowly finding my way back.
Work has been pretty uneventful lately.
I really wished I could learn more, but I'm afraid I might finish off the internship not taking anything much with me.
I guess the only reason would be that extra value it brings to the CV.

Here's the line I thought I would never say...

I miss studying, and I absolutely cannot wait for college to begin in January.

I've resigned myself to abstain from the big screens for a while.
Perhaps downloading would be good for now.
There are a few "to-watch" on my list, but...


Anyway, Christmas should be good.
I guess this Christmas will be a really good reminder of the one Person who gave everything for me and Who loved and expected nothing in return.
Doubt anyone has that kinda capacity, though there will be people who are like that...a few anyway.
Christmas...probably the most important date in my yearly calendar.

I promise more updates will come up by the end of this week.
I'll get the pictures uploaded, and hopefully the rest of the pictures will be uploaded on Facebook by the respective people with the cameras.
I guess till then, this is it.

Sometimes, I'm tired of pretending everything is alright.
The only difference is I have God right here...