Thursday, January 28, 2010

Against The Odds...

Movie updates!

Paranormal Activity.

Caught this with Eu Jin and the brother on the laptop. It was recommended as apparently it's "the first movie to make me scream" quotes Eu Jin. So I thought I'd give it a try though I'm no big fan of horror movies.

It was scary in its own rights, but I think watching it at midnight with the lights turn off, and a really good sound system would scare the wits out of you. Picture watching it in the big screens.

The movie synopsis is in the form of a first person kinda view, with the whole thing from Micah's (Micah Sloat) point of view using a camcorder to attempt to catch the paranormal activity going on in the house he resides in with his girlfriend, Katie (Katie Featherston). However, Katie has always had 'someone' following her everywhere she went ever since she was a kid.

I think the nail-biting parts were when the nights came, and you'd see (i.e. blankets moving, bedroom door moving, the "entity's" shadow even) and hear things such as footsteps. Definitely thought the whole concept was interesting though.

Verdict: 6/10 If you're thinking of giving yourself a scare, this is it. But I suggest that the volume be maxed, lights be turned off, and caught right at the stroke of midnight. : )


Yes, I'm outdated. This movie was dated 2003, but I thought watching another thriller right after a horror would be cool. Though towards the end, I didn't really get the plot...but I thought the twists in it and the entire structure of the movie was good.

Click here for synopsis.

Verdict: 7/10 Interesting how the plot fell into place and you'd try and figure out who was the real killer in the end.

ACCA workload is really starting to pile up and I'm glad in a way.
I think I'm really enjoying each and every subject no matter how tedious they seem.
But heck, I'm learning a whole lot...and I believe I'm moving in His calling to serve Him in the corporate world.
Yet again, anything can happen when God calls and that is what's so exciting on this journey with Him.

The only annoying thing is the fact that I have classes this Sunday.
And perhaps the hardest thing is coming in to 3 different classes, seeing 3 different sets of people, and yet each of them having their own 'clicks' and groups.
I'd like to believe that everyone has some good in them, so I shall stop short of calling KDU-ians arrogant.
Only time will tell.

I guess it's time to actually head off and do some revision.
Everyday starts off pretty much the same, but the only difference between getting through the day and letting it affect me is when I start off the day with a proper devotion...or not.
I'm gonna get through this even if I have to crawl on all fours. : )

I trudged up the hill of pain and disdain,
Every little step seemingly the hardest,
The summit seems so far away, it was plain,
But I needed to get there to emerge the strongest.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

And The Sun Will Set For You...


Thanksgiving, Christ-living.

That's HCC's theme for the year 2010.
A life full of thanksgiving will lead to a life being led for Christ everyday.
I guess it's no coincidence that God has been speaking to me about thanksgiving in my daily devotions as well.

As I continue in my daily struggle to let go of the person I love the most, God has been speaking through so many different sources and I believe that though love sometimes require you to let go but it does not mean you can't go on living life for God to your maximum potential and continue loving.

Personally, life needs to go on regardless of what has happened.
I believe that a person so special who has entered your heart will never leave again no matter what the circumstances are and no matter where life takes the both of you to.
That has always been the case with me, though it may vary according to individuals.

But God has been speaking to me about thanksgiving, sending different people who keep me going...
Most of all, God has been helping me and I believe thanksgiving is the start of it all.
Today's message just kinda confirmed it all, and I believe that things will only get better as time goes on.
I cannot believe what might happen if God has not carried me through this, but I believe that it may seem impossible with me...

But with God, all things are possible.
I hope this will be my turning point.
No more emo posts hopefully? : )

And here's something good to thank God for, though it seems insignificant.
There's this song that was playing on the radio quite a long while ago.
I could never get the title, nor the name of the band.
But I found it on the radio that day.
I would never have guessed that this band would sing such genre.
Thank God I finally found it though. *grins*

Linkin Park - Shadow of the Day

I close both locks below the window
I close both blinds and turn away

Sometimes solutions aren't so simple
Sometimes good bye's the only way

And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

In cards and flowers on your window
Your friends all plead for you to stay

Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple
Sometimes good bye's the only way

And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey

And the sun will set for you

Friday, January 22, 2010

Love Will Get You Through...

I guess you can say Thank God It's Friday!
Honestly though, it's just another statement to me but the weekends certainly mean a time to recharge my batteries.
Still in a very unstable state, but I guess you could say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Character building, the refining of gold, the shaping of a diamond, or just merely the transforming of a caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly.

For some reason, I was meditating on this very verse that goes like this...

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love ~ 1 Corinthians 13:13.

I was just thinking about it and meditating on it.
God just kinda spoke to me and I came up with this...

Always take a step forward in faith, look to the future with hope, and love those around you as you love yourself...

You could say that recently I've lost faith in people and relationships.
No, don't get me wrong.
I still look through the Father's eyes of love and see the need to love those around me unconditionally.
It's just that "wall of skepticism and pessimism" coming up all over again when it comes to relationships.

I guess you could say I was on the verge of giving up on people.
But God reminded me that if He could send His Only Son out of love for every single person out there, then there is no reason I should stop loving those around me cause that would simply make my existence without purpose if I cease to love them through the Father's love. : )

I guess I got to a stage when I've started doubting whether I'll ever be good enough for those around me at all.
It came to a point when I asked God "All I want is a normal life, normal relationships. Why can't I have it?"
And His reply was merely this...
"Because you're not meant to live a normal life. I'm breaking you to make you someone extraordinary for My Name sake."
All that's left is for the pieces to be mended.

I've been doing some self-reflecting recently, and the lessons are there for me to see.

  • Seriously when it gets lonely, that means you're just pathetic. You're not trying hard enough.
  • Saying goodbye is impossible when it comes to the people you hold closest to your heart. And yes, I know it's an exaggeration, but that's just how crazy it is.
  • Disappointments are a daily thing. So be prepared for them.
  • Time MIGHT heal the wounds, but you're scarred for life.

But the best to come is this...

God never leaves, never disappoints, never fails, never gives up on you, and never stops loving you.

And that's the best promise anyone has ever promised me.
Suffice to say, I'm gonna start 2010 with a bang and start working and serving for the One Reason, One Purpose, and One Hope that keeps me going.

Here's a little extra to read.
It's from a friend of mine, who sees love for all it is.

Click HERE!

Till then, have a good weekend people.
I pray that love will find you wherever you're at, because we were made to love. : )


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Nothing but Hope...

Good morning.
It's a Wednesday morning, one of those days when classes only begin in the afternoon.
Considering yesterday was one heck of a night, today is a fresh start.
I'm hoping this is a turnaround point for yours truly.
It's taking me insane time to get through this, but I'm gonna choose to.

Anyway, new year's 2010 was celebrated at Curve (yet AGAIN!) and suffice to say, I'm never going out to shopping malls in the future if there isn't any watchnight services in church.
Well, the best part was we got a good view of the fireworks this year.
Hence, this post will be image heavy!
You've been WARNED! : )

Started off New Year's Eve with my last day at HSBC (refer to previous post) and after work...headed out to meet up with the college peeps for dinner at Paramount's famous nasi lemak joint.
And then proceeded to Curve for the countdown with a different bunch of friends.

Dines a.k.a. 'Kaki-lang'. : )

Lingz a.k.a. Dines' better half.

Nasi Lemak! You probably can't see it clearly, but it tastes way better than it looks.

New Year's decor at Curve! Taken @ The Street.

A vague view of the street concert.

The MJ Dancers. They could really move. : )

Ms Hitomi.

Mr CCR. : )

Post-New Year @ CCR's place.

The host.

Thank you to the both of you for giving my New Year's some cheer. : )

Here we go.

So ends 2009.

And the arrival of a new beginning.

Whether it be the ups...

Or the downs...

The different lessons of life...

God is and will always be faithful...

And He will continue to be for 2010...

New challenges...

New ups and downs in life...with multiple 'colours' to face.

Here's to a great 2010!

PS: For more here. Facebook link. *grins*

Monday, January 18, 2010

Dear Readers...

Dear readers,

My apologies for my posts these past few weeks.
It's been depressing I know, but I guess God is still doing His thing in me.
You are not officially held responsible nor accountable to read the posts that will be posted up.
In due time I'm sure, things will be better.

For now, bear with me or if at any moment you feel a tinge of uneasiness whilst reading the posts...feel free to skip and revisit this blog somewhere down the lines.
I am sorry.

The Management.

Permanently Scarred...

Chris Daughtry - Life After You

Ten miles from town and I just broke down
Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road
I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know
Believe me I won't stop at nothin'
To see you so I've started runnin'

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you

Last time we talked, the night that I walked
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wasting my time
Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you

You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one
After this time I spent alone
It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind
Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind
So I'm runnin' back to tell you

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
Without you God knows what I'd do

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you

Heard this song on the radio and thought it was one of Daughtry's signature songs.
Somehow the songs he sings are all along the same theme and in the same style...but that's what makes his songs so recognizable.

Found some really nice quotes from Samantha's tumblr account.
So I took the ones that well....enough said. : )



Things aren't going right anymore, but I know it's just momentarily.
I echo what was said in cell group on Friday...

"Sometimes I wonder what life would be if I didn't know God. I can't even imagine what would happen."

I can.
I'd be dead by now without God. : )

Sunday, January 17, 2010

A Tempest Beyond Measure...

Augustana - Boston

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,

Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...
Where no one knows my name.

This song has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it on American Idol a few days ago.
I think I just like the idea of going somewhere where no one knows my name, where no one knows me at all and start afresh.

I know I promised a new year's eve post, but it'll have to wait till maybe tomorrow.
Not in the right frame of mind to blog about anything much at the moment.

But...worship today was really awesome.
I believe God really encouraged and spoke through worship.
Nevertheless, as I continue to fluctuate...I believe clinging on to Him will eventually lead me to an exit from this incredibly long tunnel that I seem to be stuck in.

The most painful lesson you will ever learn is if there are people in life who mean the world to you and you'd even jump in front of a bullet for them...but they just won't do the same for you.
It hurts especially when the people you'd expect to be there for you are never there, but instead you're left all alone to crash and burn.
In this regard, God has been the only saving grace that has never left my side nor gone anywhere for that matter.

I've no idea what God is trying to teach me by allowing me to be placed in a situation of apparent loneliness, but it certainly means I need to hang on tighter to Him.
It's ironic when you need someone around, and no one is ever around.
I guess that's just the way life works. : )

I'll end today's post with some pictures.
Lerida gave me a pleasant surprise and appeared in church today!
Totally made my day.
Haven't seen her in AGES!

Brandon and Lerry @ Pan Cafe during lunch.

Ms Looi!

Lala-emo, as she calls it.

My rant buddies. : )

Still praying for a ray of sunlight somewhere.
Still praying for God to show me His purposes.
Still praying for more of Him.

And I believe it is possible to smile on the outside when the heart is breaking on the inside. He promised me.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

This is me...Open for the World to See.

During the period of 7 months post-graduation, yours truly was interning in an audit firm as well as with HSBC's Commercial Banking department.
Suffice to say, I've learned quite a fair bit and gained a lot of knowledge a classroom would have not otherwise provided.
I think my time at HSBC was more enjoyable, and I met really nice people.
So, this post is a tribute to them.

*Note: Pictures were taken on the 31st of December 2009, new year's eve. : )

HSBC Commercial Banking Sector, 10th floor.

New Year's Eve cheer at office! Drinks and tidbits.

Now that I've tried Whiskey, perhaps the next thing would be Vodka. : )

Suresh! He's the best boss I could ever ask for. Thank God for His blessings.

He was my supervisor from day 1.
Took me out for lunches, made sure I was taken care when he was on leave, and was very helpful in me completing all my tasks though he was one of the busiest relationship managers in the department.
His sense of humor was evident, and his absence certainly took the life out of the 'party' so to speak.
Thank you for being awesome! : )

Joon Huei! He's pretty cool for a dad no?

Was not really close with him at first.
In fact, I don't remember talking to him for the first month I was there.
But we started clicking when we went for lunches.
He's into online games, and I think his attitude somehow had a calming effect on those around him.
I think he's the best person to talk to when you're stressed.


He was definitely one of the younger peeps over there.
Though we never spoke as often, but when we did...I could always feel a sense of trust.
I'd say we somehow could relate somewhat well. : )


She'll probably be the first one to greet you when you're new in the office, first one to smile at you, and sort of keep you chirpy and hyped up for the rest of the day.
She had this crazy side of her but yet combined with an attitude of sheer determination when it came to work.
Definitely someone you'd want in the office. : )


The typical party girl with an equally cheerful and bubbly personality.
I think the thing I'll remember most about her was the fact that I had to constantly transfer calls over to her when clients called. Haha! : )


Ah, my colleague and most of the time company during lunch hours when office went empty.
Also a part-timer, but on a longer term basis.


Tech support colleague.

I think the guys thought they were too macho to take a picture with me. Haha!
Unfortunately, I missed out quite a few people who were already on leave by the time I finished my internship.
But I guess it's the thought that counts.
Lets just say I miss the whole lot of them already.
I think their jokes kept me sane during those 2 months there, especially with all that was going on around me.
Heck, now it feels so...lonely.

Classes have begun, but there's a big disadvantage simply because I'm entering into 2 different levels at the same time.
I never really see the same people for any of the classes.
And though I've never really had a problem socializing, but starting over takes time and effort.
Perhaps it's a good thing, a fresh start...but if I had the chance, I would take a flight down to UK to complete my course and start life all over again.

God has been faithful.
I think above the whole turmoil and depression moments, He's kept me in check and He's always there.
That's probably the best thing about Him, that He never goes anywhere.
He never disappears and goes out of contact.

I was scrolling through my entire address book, but somehow everyone felt so distant and suddenly it felt as if I could not relate to anyone in my address book.
There are times when it still hurts so badly, but yet I bask in it.
Perhaps the very lesson that He's teaching me is to love when it hurts, to love unconditionally.

I've been trying so hard to be okay, trying so very hard...but I'm done denying that I'm not.
Somehow, I was made to do this and I will not deny it.
That doesn't mean I deny reality and stay stagnant.
Sometimes, loving a person requires you to let go because the other person deserves better.
To love, is to let go.

Above all, I've asked God what He wants me to learn from this experience.
Most importantly, I think I've learned to love Him unconditionally.
But I believe He's teaching me that the world will never understand such love, and when I see everyone else through His eyes of love...I'll learn to love unconditionally no matter what they throw at me or no matter the circumstances.
This experience no doubt happens naturally simply because this person is the dearest thing to my heart, but in the long term...I'll be able to love everyone around me regardless of status, colour, personality and to love unconditionally and accept them for who they are.

I believe God meant it in such a way that by going through the deepest pain of loving someone so dear and hitting a brick wall, I would be ready to love the people that society detests whom God might bring me into contact with in the future.
And perhaps I'll be able to spread God's love to those around by loving them for who they are and helping them through life, and to fulfill His purposes in my life.
Praise God for painful lessons in life.

Before I go, here's a poem from the book "How To Deal With Your Broken Heart" by Susan Tang which I've just finished reading for the second time.
I think the poem is really inspiring, and it talks about smiling when the heart is breaking down or even broken into sheer pieces.

"To smile when the heart is heavy
And all is full of ill
When the path of life is dull
And music's tongue is still
When the roses have all dropped and died
And their perfume now all spent
When streams dash madly, wildly on
With fury giving vent
When birds are silent in the trees
Beneath a sky cast grey
Yes, to smile when the heart is breaking
And joy has taken flight
Is ever a courageous thing
And so precious in God's sight."


Next post will on New Year's Eve.
Till then, this is goodbye.

PS: This post was supposed to be a dedication. Oops, I got carried away. My apologies for the long rants.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Of Popcorn and Carbonated Drinks...

It has been a while since I've done any movie reviews.
I blame it partly on myself.
As far as I'm concerned, cinemas and shopping malls are the last places I want to be in right now.
However I did go out for certain movies, just the really anticipated and big ones.

So, it's that time for movie reviews.


And no, I didn't watch it in 3D.
But this movie promises a pretty good storyline with breathtaking scenaries that I'm sure will pretty much look awesome in 3D.
One of those rare 3 hour movies, but it was definitely worth not going to toilet during the whole period.

Verdict: 7.5/10
The movie was enchanting overall, and suffice to say definitely one of the better 3 hour movies that was worth the money.
The plot was equally done up pretty well.
Definitely recommended for people of all ages.

Synopsis can be found here.

Sherlock Holmes.

Based on very good reviews from certain trustworthy sources, I decided to catch this with Sean who was back from Australia.
The reviews were definitely correct in every sense, and the plot was probably the best part asides from the action that was happening all over the place.

Verdict: 8.5/10
Yes, probably one of the best verdicts in my personal opinion that I've given to a single movie.
I think what really enchanted me was how he analyzed ahead of time and came up to the deductions and explanations that apparently could only be explained by "magic".
It was so intriguing, that the movie just flew by and before you know it, it was over.
Those of you who love good plot shows, and who are fans of mysteries and investigations...this is definitely it.

Synopsis can be found here.

Those were about the 2 other movies that I've caught.
I think I've lost touch of the recent movies before those two, but I'm looking forward to a few upcoming 2010 movies.
Whether I'll have the time (or risk going to shopping malls) to catch them, is another thing altogether.
But I'll definitely watch these somehow or rather.

Ironman 2.

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief.


2010 is starting off really well in terms of good movies that are upcoming.
Till my next update, this is Matt signing off.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

In You I Trust...

As they held in what seemed to be their last embrace, the autumn leaves fell in melancholic melody almost in chain reaction to the turn of events.
Time in its utter cruelty weaved and fabricated the moment into the past.

"Will I ever see you again?" was all he could muster in weak response to reality that now overwhelmed him.
As her hand slipped from his and replied simply "Maybe. I don't know."
It seemed like an eternity of separation and an abyss of uncertainty, but the near future now seemed to be separated by a valley the depth of a bottomless notion.
He watched as she turned her back and walked away into a chapter of broken dreams and hopes.

Leaving her a note, all he wrote was a simple sentence construed to convey every cell and sinew of his entire being that simply wrote...

"I realized that I can't change myself. My very essence has been made to always love you no matter what, even if it means loving you from wherever life takes us."

Sealed with the last teardrop, and perhaps the very last of his hopes...he relishes.


Just a tinge of creativity that came to me. : )
On another note, church has been pretty good.
God has been really speaking to me through all the various forms of messages, encouragements, experiences, and inspirations that has been divinely sent to me from up above.

As college begins to pick up this coming week I can only know that in this uncertainty of life, God will be there every step of the way to guide me in every single step I take in life.
God's love is amazing, and the very fact that He continues to show me this love everyday is the best reason in the world to live all out.
We were given the gift of life by His sacrifice, and now this life will be given back through service to Him.

Trusting Him for the present, and the future. : )

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Gentle Breeze, Sweet Fragrance...

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
I'm fine baby, how are you?
Well I would send them but I know it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home

Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will be all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home

~ Michael Buble

This song has been creeping out pretty often on my playlist.
I think the lyrics have a whole lot of meaning.
My definition of home.

Home, is where the heart is.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Phoenix: To Rise from the Ashes...

Got this song from Elaine's blog.

Did you forget
That I was even alive
Did you forget
Everything we ever had
Did you forget
Did you forget
About me

Did you regret
Ever standing by my side
Did you forget
What we were feeling inside
Now I'm left to forget
About us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it

So now I guess
This is where we have to stand
Did you regret
Ever holding my hand
Never again
Please don't forget
Don't forget

We had it all
We were just about to fall
Even more in love
Than we were before
I won't forget
I won't forget
About us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it

Somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
You can't forget it
At all

And at last
All the pictures have been burned
And all the past
Is just a lesson that we've learned
I won't forget
Please don't forget us

But somewhere we went wrong
Our love is like a song
But you won't sing along
You've forgotten
About us

I totally hate emo songs right now, but this one just caught my attention.
I'm reminded of fresh starts, and this song will be a reminder of another wonderful chapter in life which will definitely never be forgotten.
I'll never understand the logic of what has happened and why it did, but I'm sure God knows.
One thing's for sure...I want to become better, that I'll never be such a disappointment to anyone as much as I can ever again.

Thanks for the memories. XOXO!

Monday, January 4, 2010

How did we get here?


Yes, that's my brother.
He's growing into a fine young man, and I am proud of him in every single way imaginable.
Yes, we have our disagreements and the moments lacking maturity...but I believe God has HUGE plans for this lil guy.
This is for you!


The first Monday of the year started with orientation, and a very long one at that.
This feeling of being out of place, everyone just seems a lil young.

Some too gung-ho for their own good, some a lil withdrawn...but all still so young.
As much as being elected the team leader and mixing around a little here and there, this unshakable feeling was still there.
There are times when you're surrounded by tonnes of people, but yet you feel all so alone and lonely.

I'm praying that things will become better and that God will continue to be there.
After all, it's only the first day.
We're all afraid of change, but sometimes God brings change to take us out of the comfort zone and introduce us to newer things, to achieve greater heights...

I just can't help but wished she was here as I opened another important chapter in life.
As I stepped into adulthood, she was there.
When I started my first official "job", she was there.
When I graduated with a degree in my hands, she was there.

Through the short moments, she's been through important phases in my life.
And how I wished that things didn't have to turn out the way they did.
As I set down during lunch hour today, I realized that absence that has constantly been gnawing at me continued to plague me.

So many people around me, and I realized how empty and lonely one could get despite being among people.
Even surrounded by people around you, there was still a big gap...

Yet...God made me realize that He was there even before I was born and He is always there.
I realized I had allowed myself to forget my Maker, my Creator, my best friend, the One person who has never let me down.
Earthly life seems pretty meaningless now, but I realize that I have a Heavenly home...a mission to complete on Earth before I move on.
This mission was the driving purpose that kept me going from past time even till now.

She was the first person whom I've learned to lavish unconditional love upon...
But God will always be the One whom I will depend on for all things.
Even as I start off this new chapter in life, I realized that it is indeed time to grow up and mature.
This unconditional love, belongs to her.

But I will always know that God will always be that source of which I draw this love from, and He is exactly who I will always turn to...for His love is the ultimate unconditional love.
Naturally, humans are never perfect and I realize now that if you put so much hope and expectations...the tendency to be hurt is there.
As humans the tendency is to expect, and yet I would love to run the opposite direction.
Men will always disappoint, but God will never disappoint.

I'm hoping that even as I start off this new year afresh, everything else will begin and a new beginning will emerge.
I will let this broken heart heal again, and protect it from its very fragile state.
This is my hope, that when this heart has healed completely and learned to beat again...that I will go all out and do great exploits to the person who gave it all for me...

My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

PS: How to Deal with Your Broken Heart by Susan Tang is a good read. Mum's making me read it all over again. Lets hope it helps. : )

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Unconditional Love...


It's been a lil busy this weekend, hence the New Year's post has yet to be posted up.
But I assure you, that the post will come somewhere this coming week.
There's a lot of updates to be done, but bear with me kay?

Till then, I leave with this meaningful excerpt I got from One Tree Hill a while ago.

"I believe love conquers all. Sure love isn't easy and there will be hard times, but having someone who is there and who understands makes it all the more easier."

So much for my happy ending. : )

Friday, January 1, 2010

Of Thanksgiving and Gratitude...

So, the New Year is finally here.

My response to that would be one of relief, thanksgiving, and hope.
2009 has truly been another roller-coaster year.
I can't imagine it being any different to the past few years, except that it was a whole lot bumpier and at the same time exciting.

Without a reason for the season, Christmas would probably have been ruined.
Without my reason to live, well...

Enough said.

Suffice to say, I'm really glad 2009 has come to an end.
Looking back, there are so many things I wished I had done/not done and not gotten myself into such fixes.
Then again, I also can see so many instances where I can thank God for His grace and His goodness throughout the year.

I'll always remember the different moments in the year either because of its mountaintop highs, or just plain deep depressing moments.
All I know is, God has been really good regardless of all that has happened.
And I believe that He is still in control, and in 2010...greater things shall be accomplished all to the glory of His name.

Some of the highlights in 2009 include:

  • Representing Malaysia to the English Business Talk in Singapore.
  • Graduated with a Degree in my hands.
  • Went through a very painful growing up process throughout the year.
  • Stepped into the adult world and realized the responsibilities and requirements that came with it.
  • Had a taste of what the working world would feel like.

And those are just among some of the highlights of the year.
Overall, it didn't end too well...but God has definitely been faithful.
I thank God everyday for His continued faithfulness and His ever present help in life.
Life may not be smooth, and there are times where I've even lost my focus...but somehow everything always points back to Him.

If I listed down the lessons I've learned throughout the year, this post might probably never end.
Nevertheless, it's made me a smarter, and hopefully a better person.

And as I look forward to 2010 I realize what matters is not how much money you make, the magnitude of what you've done, nor is it how much you THINK you've accomplished...

But what matters are always the people who are around you, the relationships and friendships that you've come to know and love in life.
The year itself presented many losses in different forms...
So I say, even as life in itself is unpredictable and short, too many a times I realize that I take it forgranted.

Instead of displaying arrogance, I'll start this year by committing every step of the way to God and all the plans laid out...that God willing they shall be done.
I learn to appreciate the people around me, and not take them forgranted.
Let this new year be a fresh start for me, and for you readers out there...

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools,
The way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more; it is a tale,
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

William Shakespeare

If life is indeed short, then carpe diem it shall be!
Seize the moment, live life to the max.
And in my case...every moment to be lived to my full potential for God.
I've lost all will to live and the only reason left to live is God.
And if He gave His all for me when He sent His Son, the only rightful thing would be to give all of me to serve Him.

No resolutions for me, but instead...I pray that God will reveal more of Himself and the plans ahead.
Resolutions are almost never kept, for me personally anyway.
So it was a new year's prayer this time, a prayer to be never lose focus on Him.

Live for God, live for the moment...
Know what is important, appreciate those around you.
Reach out for your dreams and your destination, but don't forget to enjoy the journey.
Take what you can in life, and seize every moment and opportunity you have.

...But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead ~ Philippians 3:13(b).

I pray that the year 2010 will be fulfilling for you, as I am very sure it will be for me.
And to end this year, here's a video clip I thought really captured what mattered to me.

'Tis the Season to be Jolly...

Happy New Year!
It's the year 2010!

Before I do my official first post of the year, this post will be a long post of updates!
It's been long overdue and the first part of this post dates back to the 28th of November 2009!

So, bear with me.

First from the final day of the musical preparation at Monfort Boys Town!

Final Day Presentation - 28th of November 2009

Pre-presentation practices.

Angle #1.

Angle #2.


With the now-migrated Debbie. You are missed...

Adam's Wedding - 29th November 2009

A close friend of ours finally took the plunge and tied the knot.
Held at The Club, it was a pretty good event with good food.
One of the rare occasions when the couple are still in their early 20's.
A good wake up call for me.
Somehow was reminded that life is indeed short; breathe in every breath as if it were your last, go with the flow and do the things that make you happy...cause life is short and unpredictable that way.

I guess someone will be sleeping very soundly now that it's all confirmed and done with. : )

Their throne for the night.

Dinner table for the newlyweds.

Here they are.

A close-up view.

The scrumptious food set before us.

And the flower boy. : )

Further pictures are available on facebook links as listed below.

Facebook Link

Debbie's Farewell - 4th December 2009

It was just a week or two before Debbie and the family migrated off to Australia.
Hence, the Harvest Crew had a farewell dinner for her at Jaya One.

Shot #1.

Shot #2.

Yours truly's dinner for the night.

Again, more links on facebook.
Too many pictures to upload onto the blog.

Facebook Link

APYAC Night Concerts 11th-12th December 2009

Venue: GTPJ

Managed to go for the night sessions and catch the concerts.
Life changing and definitely gave me a new direction.
Reinforced what I really am on Earth for.
Now, to just overcome circumstances and anything else that hinders to achieve it.

Juwita Suwito was one of the guest singers.

Wooo, colours.

Dancers of the opening act.

A second shot.

A representative from each Asia Pacific nation for the final night's worship dance. : )

Here they are in action.

Symbolical act of passing on the 'cross'.

As the baton was passed on to the next generation for the nations.

The final night was pretty much an act that signifies reaching out to the nations.
Much was spent in prayer and sowing to reach out to the nations for God.
It was a defining moment; in the End Times, much is needed to be done.
Reach out!

Only managed to get a shot with Andrea, despite meeting so many other people there. Regret that I didn't managed to take any other shots with anyone else.

Harvest Crew's Christmas Party - 19th December 2009

Venue: Pek See's - Taman Yarl, OUG.

The setting.

The queue for dinner.

Food, food, food!

Malaysians' favourite pasttime. And it was all homecooked. Yums...

What you see is grilled chicken and potatoes with blackpepper sauce. All courtesy of the hostess, and boy was it good.

Table #1: Clockwise - Kor kor Yat Nam, Nicole, Steph, Shar Mein, & Andrew.

Table #2 too busy with food for the camera.

Table #3. Say cheese...

Table #4.

Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of table #5 and some other missing people. My apologies.


When things started getting really competitive. : )

Debating with the judge. Hilarious reasoning.

Rawr! Here we go!

Final shot!

The night ended with a skit, a short sharing, and the exchange of gifts.
Carols were probably the best part. : )

Cousins Reunite - 26th December 2009

This was the second time the whole bunch of us met up, whereby the first time was missed by yours truly due
Don't have much pictures, but the rest are on facebook.
Needless to say, it was really good to see all of them again.

Venue was at Sunway Pyramid, where it was nothing but talk, cameras, and a whole lot of camwhoring involved.

Li Anne and Emily hogging the Christmas tree.

Emily going all vainpot on my handphone.

Rest of the pictures are over in Facebook!
Click click!

Facebook Link #1
Facebook Link #2

That would be all for this post.
Most of the pictures are in Facebook, so thankfully all you gotta do is click and browse.
Next post will be New Year's Eve and New Year's.

Stay tuned!

Happy 2010 people!