Sitting in total despair, he kept his head in between his palms wondering how he got it all wrong all over AGAIN.
"God, You're gonna have to get me through this...or take me out at the end of this month. I don't know what to do. Worse, I don't even know what to feel anymore."
Hillsongs is on very loud on the earphones.
Only thing that's helping me calm down; keeping me sane.
In times like these, it's just letting it all out to Daddy.
He's always there, 24/7 no matter where...
Thanks to our morning talk, and that episode later in the afternoon...things have taken a turn for the worse.
"I'm giving you one month to see if you can cope and at the end of it if you can't, then I might have to let you go earlier. I know we agreed till November, but at the rate things are going..."
I cannot seem to do anything right.
I feel like a failure...
I'm giving myself one month to prove not only to him, but more so to myself that I can do something right for once and not be labeled as a failure.
After this month, even if he decides to keep me but if I still feel that I cannot cope, I'll resign.
I don't run from pressure, and I certainly don't run from challenges when faced with them.
But I hate (note: one of the few times I even use the word due to it's strong connotation) being a disappointment to those around me, more so loved ones.
I'm not that close with him, but I cannot stand being a disappointment to him and being a liability instead of an asset to the company.
Bottom line is, we're relatives.
The talk this morning was gut-wrenching.
And that huge booboo in the afternoon didn't help my case either.
I told myself I'm gonna give my all, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
Just one more month, and this is gonna be crucial in deciding whether I fail or rise stronger.
Till then, gotta keep clinging to God.
P.S.: Took this from Andrea's facebook shoutout this morning.
~ Someday someone might come into your life and love you the way you've always wanted. If your someday was yesterday, learn. If your someday is tomorrow, hope. If your someday is today, cherish.