Everywhere I Look, I See You

Dear diary,

Day 3 is almost over.
The fact that things have been talked out and that the most important friendship is being retained, I feel a tad bit better.
Temptation got the better of me, and the chance to revert back to things lay right in front of me.
I wanted that more than anything in the world, and I would have given up everything for that.
But this love for God so strong helped me made without a doubt the hardest decision ever in life.
Nothing in the past was as insane as this.
No doubt the pain is unbearable, beyond measure.

I started my day the same way every other day has started.
Reality finally sunk in today.
Memories replayed itself over and over again, but I know this is not the end.
Now that we'll revert back to being best of friends, there will definitely be more.
My biggest fear has been quenched.
Something to look forward to no doubt.

But God spoke through Rev Dr Jerry Horner today.
And right there and then, I knew God was watching over me...and over the most important person in my life.
Thank You Lord for showing me Your love.
Definitely needed it more than ever.

I skipped lunch again today.
Appetite just...lets say it's non-existing for now.
Nothing really makes sense anymore.
Absolutely nothing appeals to me anymore.
Not games, not entertainment, not anything...

Till I learn how to smile again...