My Tomorrows are in Your Hands

So what do you do when you cannot sleep at 2am in the morning?
Drinking milk helps a lil.
Counting sheep does not help at all.
Prayer works, and I've tried that.
God is everywhere, so that's the best part.

Only problem is...
...my mind's a wreck.
My heart's in safe hands, but I sure as heck feel the pain more intense even when it's over there.
Frankly, I don't know what's going on anymore.

You should see my eyes.
I bet they're probably red and swollen, the size of giant walnuts.
Best part is, I'm tired as crap but I can't sleep.
I'm afraid to honestly.

The minute I put my head to the pillow, the whole process starts all over again.
It never stops.
At any rate, it's almost like dangling myself over shark infested waters.
The only thing that's holding me up is a thin slender rope (i.e. God).

I'll let you in on a lil secret.
Selfishly, I've even thought (mind you, 'thought' not asked yet) of asking God to take me home.
Drastic yes?

Painkillers anyone?

~ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. [Jeremiah 29:11]

PS: God, show me Your plans for my life. No doubt, good plans ahead.