Cause you said forever...

Disappointments are to the soul what the thunder-storm is to the air ~ Friedrich von Schiller



There are times, when life gets the best of you and turns the tables against you. Then again, there are times when life rewards you with a cloud nine moment, one that lasts for a lifetime. Suffice to say, I've learned(or am still learning) to turn to the One person that has always been there for me when life did not treat me as the latter,

God...

I guess I just needed to pour out a little, and so here I am. I've just been so disappointed recently with some things that I've heard, and also with people that it hurts to say the least. However, I've also realized that people will always disappoint, in the smallest ways, or even in the most catastrophic ways that bring about massive consequences.

Right now, I'm just so tired and so very annoyed, not to mention the emotion of feeling hurt and pain that I just feel like giving up. It is in times like these, where the temptation to pull over and give up comes the strongest. Its hard to turn to God, but I know He is there.

You...

You've always been apart of my life, whether you realized or not. No matter what happened, I've never stopped thinking of you, but right now, you're really the biggest disappointment. I guess I already knew that, but I could never bring myself to believe that. Its clear to see with the line drawn out so clearly now, how love was a pretense to how you really felt.

Still, love must be crazy, because at this point, I wish you all the best with the happiness you've found that I could never have given you. It is obvious that I could never really hate you for too long without loving you all over again. Being the first obviously has contributed to this. The wonders of love. Indeed, God's given mystery to life.

I guess I feel a lil better now. Sleep is indeed beckoning to me, and I need sleep badly. No more tears; for its been too long to cry all over again. No more sleepless nights; for I'm not gonna incorporate insomnia anymore thinking of you. No more wishful thinking; for I guess you are now but a distant memory, away from my grasp, but yet so fresh as if it happened only yesterday.

Very reminiscent indeed...



Signing off,
Matt